Ah, deer... So resourceful, so wary, and yet, so mind-numbingly stupid sometimes. We spend months planning to outsmart them in the hardwoods, only to have one run through the display window at Sears while you're shopping for your Father's Day present.
Let's be honest, folks, deer aren't exactly the nuclear physicists of the animal kingdom. While we prize deer for their huge racks and tasty backstraps, we can't help but marvel at their sub-par intelligence when it comes to interacting with humans, which more often than not lands them in a world of trouble. We've compiled a list of some baffling cases of deer stupidity; some work out fine for the deer, but some don't. Regardless, they all leave us scratching our heads.
Making a Withdrawal
Between the long lines and impatient tellers, the bank is up there with the DMV on the list of our least-favorite places. Adding to the stress is the fact that local fauna can sometimes find its way through the front door, as the customers at a PNC Bank in Decatur, Ill.
, found out. After crashing through an office window, the deer scampered around inside, leaving a bloody mess all over before taking cover in the drive-up teller section. Macon County Animal Control told The (Decatur) Herald & Review was due to be euthanized.
Photo by Jim Bowling/The (Decatur, Ill.) Herald & Review
Whitetail Heating & Cooling
Illinois must have a problem with rogue deer crashing through windows. Last year, a pair of deer broke their way into a local HVAC company
, DP Filters, in Peoria, Ill., just a couple miles down the road from the Petersen's Hunting
offices. Unfortunately, these unruly ungulates were also put down because of their injuries.
Photo by David Zalaznik/(Peoria, Ill.) Journal Star
OK, we'll leave Illinois alone for now and move up north to their Cheesehead neighbors. In Wisconsin, we have a case of a big buck scoring about 160 inches jumping off a 40-foot overpass to its death
, landing nose-first on a highway slab. Luckily for a few highway workers, the big Booner didn't damage its antlers.
Photo by Al Rinka
Taco Mac Takeout
Maybe this deer had grown tired of munching on whatever flora was out there in the woods. Maybe someone spiked a local food plot. Whatever the case, a spooked deer in Atlanta crashed through the window of a local Taco Mac, injuring one patron before scampering away through the patio -- all without even placing an order.
We can't decide which is funnier about this video: the fact that the deer is wearing a nice looking blaze orange vest -- because animals wearing clothes is always comedy gold -- or his taste for plastic tubing and fishing rods, or the deer's affinity for one of these fishermen. Either way, this deer's desire -- for fishing, that is -- makes this video a classic.
Bad Shooting at Stupid Deer
We don't care how good a shot you think you are: At point or another, you've missed an easy shot. Admit it. It happens to the best of us. But take a small bit of comfort in knowing you're not nearly as bad as this guy. Adding to the pain is the fact that the target buck just stands there like an idiot, staring blankly back at the hunter, who fires two more shots before the deer decides it had better take cover. Talk about dumb luck -- for the deer, that is.
The Petersen's Hunting online team has paid more than a few visits to the liquor store, but we've never seen anything as bizarre as this. Like a trio of drunken morons, these three deer scamper through an open front door into a liquor store in Greensburg, Pa., trashing a few displays and scaring the crap out of employees before darting out the back. What a bunch of hooligans.
We're sure this dumb buck is more annoyed than he is hurt as he runs around desperately trying to free his antlers from a rope swing. Maybe it was an accident, but we can't help but wonder if he's much of John Anderson fan.